What is a Munchy Box?
In the west of Scotland, in the towns and villages surrounding Glasgow, there is a delicacy available in some of the more discerning fast-food outlets. It’s called the Munchy Box (sometimes just Munch Box) and it’s a sight to behold. The one I bought for this article is a regular-sized one, in a 10″ pizza box for about a fiver, but they can come in 12″ or beyond for eight quid and up.
The box. Give me the box.
Upon opening your Jock Monsieur, you will see a layer of Doner Kebab meat on top of a Naan Bread, maybe with some Glasgow Salad (chips) poking out from underneath. The wonders that await!
We need a bigger boat
Once the top layer has been removed, you can clearly see the two tubs of Sauce, the Glasgow Salad on the left and the Crappy Salad in the middle with the Onion Rings, Pakora and Chicken Tikka all huddled together for warmth on the right.
All that heavenly Glory
As a serving suggestion, I’ve laid it out with the crappy salad atop the chips, a piece of chicken tikka balanced on top of the salads, an onion ring surrounding a piece of pakora, a wall of doner meat served with a feuille of naan with a choice of two sauces. Sparkling Italian rosé replaced the traditional Irn Bru, but purists be damned!
A wafer thin mint, monsieur?
Or, alternatively, you could just shovel half down your Tennents-lined gullet whilst dropping the other half (crappy salad deliberately, the rest less so) on the pavement.
Next time, I may brave the hallowed Pizza Crunch Supper for your delection. With a half-pizza deep fried in chip-shop batter and piled on a wodge of chips, it truly is the champion of the artery-hardeners.
About the author. I’m an Englishman that lives in Scotland. I used to live here a while back, and in the last year just returned here after 8 years in Paris. This will give my culture shock the background it needs. My Munchy Box was the £4.95 10″ from Tandoori Nights, Stonehouse. Clicking on any images will bring up a 1920px wide version. Comments would be vastly appreciated. Oh, and just because photographs are available on the internet doesn’t mean you can use them without permission. I use a Attribution-Non-Commercial-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license on my photos.
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Thu, 12 Jun 2008 10:13:11 +0000 - devolute.net » Blog Archive » Glasweigan dining
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Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:35:47 +0000 - Doug's Personal Blog
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 13:54:17 +0000 - Most disgusting food ever - eXceem
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:48:07 +0000 - What is Donner Meat - Page 2
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 22:09:25 +0000 - The Sweat in my Tshirt » Blog Archive » FlickR Challange day 21, 22+23
Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:36:29 +0000 - Our kilted neighbours munchy box- funny very funny
Thu, 19 Jun 2008 04:49:54 +0000 - Another food thread... "fusion cuisine"? - BRISKODA - The Skoda Forum and Community
Mon, 23 Jun 2008 11:38:23 +0000 - Ryan's Inter-Online Web Blog
Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:24:33 +0000 - Munchy Box | LifeGrinder
Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:54:40 +0000 - A wee bite after lagers: Munchie box, Glasgow, Scotland « Buffalo Buffet
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Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:14:50 +0000 - The Food Monkey » Scotland The Brave: The Munchy Box - The Boston Food Blog That Will Eat No Evil!
Thu, 25 Sep 2008 13:51:10 +0000 - Your Favourite HEART ATTACK food? - Digital World
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Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:19:33 +0000 - Your last meal
Wed, 26 Nov 2008 10:17:05 +0000 - What is a Munchy Box? - MonkeyReview.co.uk
Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:31:57 +0000 - Going to Glasgow tomorrow... - SlicedThread
Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:20:30 +0000 - Northern Meet - Page 2 | hilpers
Sun, 18 Jan 2009 19:16:34 +0000 - Cool Blue Shed — Feeling a bit peckish?
Sat, 11 Apr 2009 17:23:32 +0000 - Munchy Box – Glaswegian Culinary Delights |
Sun, 26 Jul 2009 09:05:08 +0000 - The future is…*checks watch*…now. « O2 MAX
Fri, 07 Aug 2009 00:19:20 +0000 - Hungry? What about a Munch Box…
Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:55:42 +0000 - Saturday night takeaway « Words in boxes
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Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:29:03 +0000 - BBC Munchy Box infringement | The 23x blog
Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:00:38 +0000 - graze nemisis – graze blog
Tue, 27 Apr 2010 16:04:51 +0000 - Haute Cuisine, Glasgow style!!
Tue, 25 May 2010 19:01:33 +0000 - Ross 'Teddy' Craig
Wed, 21 Jul 2010 13:56:04 +0000 - Carly Tucker
Fri, 23 Jul 2010 14:38:20 +0000 - Murray Thomson
Mon, 26 Jul 2010 21:15:10 +0000 - Igor Clark
Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:59:16 +0000 - Andy Brown
Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:49:30 +0000 - nick simons
Wed, 28 Jul 2010 17:56:50 +0000 - Phil
Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:05:53 +0000 - Tom Hodgkinson
Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:57:22 +0000 - Alastair
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:08:52 +0000 - N3 Display Graphics
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:17:03 +0000 - Notmetoo
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:47:04 +0000 - George Wilmoth
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:22:46 +0000
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 00:29:26 +0000
never knew about this delicacy ! cheers for the info.
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:08:58 +0000
Just by way of being all modern etc., I decided to post my first comment to a blog. And in the best of traditions, it’s the first comment on this article and it’s *already* off-topic!
Your weather pixie is in Paris – you probably want to have a word and haul its arse up to the frozen northern wastes.
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 03:45:18 +0000
Fuck me, that looks superb! It’s several meals in a box! Reminds me of those wines that come in handy boxes for all-night booze enjoyment greatness. How long did it take to eat?
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 06:46:24 +0000
That looks awesome. My gustatory tastes tend to run the lower end of the gamut, so that looks right at home in my … well, home.
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 07:22:36 +0000
@The Imaginary Reviewer: It took two days to eat. It’s not my first, though. A large one is unmanageable by one normal sober person, over no matter how many days. You need to have at least two of you and some cats and be prepared for it to be dinner, breakfast and maybe lunch.
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 12:53:55 +0000
That looks like a thing of gastronomic delight. I think you will have failed to appreciate it fully with your choice of beverage.
Tainting your pallate with fizzy rose? Shame on you sir!
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:25:36 +0000
While it was photographed with a glass of Rosé, it was polished off with a 2l bottle of Barr’s finest.
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:54:12 +0000
Do they deliver to the USA? I want one of those!
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 14:10:41 +0000
I’m a Scotsman living in England, if I send you a fiver, can you send me one of those down, that’d feed me for a week.
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 14:51:36 +0000
Sounds great! I want one! How long before it gets to the states, or shall I move to Glasgow?
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:13:31 +0000
That is making me, a 20 year observing vegetarian, drool.
If only everything was deep-fried in batter – that would make me meat-curious…
BTW – I knew an American who worked in Scotland for a while – he found a chippy that did pizza, so he ordered it and was confounded that it was a fun-size pizza dipped in batter and fried. Sounds good to me!
Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:56:50 +0000
ah yes…the gastronomic delights of Scotland. I once, in my younger days, consumed a deep fried pizza with chips and that Edinburgh delicacy…brown sauce. Had it not been for the binge drinking before hand I would have never been tempted by this treat. The fuzzy grease still sticks to the roof of my mouth lo these many years.
Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:19:14 +0000
We have something like that in the US. Located in Rochester, New York.
Here’s the original, http://www.garbageplate.com/ while there are a few copies around the area. Typically, 2 cheezburger patties with fried potatoes, pasta salad and all topped with onions, mustard and hot (pepper/meat?) sauce.
Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:46:18 +0000
Jared, this is a true delight. I had one of those last week (not to myself thankfully) and even 2 of us couldn’t finish it. The mushroom pakora is a particular treat – little buttons of spicy, deep-fried joy! God, I love Glasgow sometimes…especially when we’re world leaders in the culinary world.
Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:50:44 +0000
“Upon opening your Jock Monsieur”
Ha ha ha that is brilliant.
On the one hand I am sufficiently sophistcated in my tastes to get the allusion, but not to much so. As I eye the contents of the Munchy Box with a drooling mouth and growling stomach.
That looks brilliant.
Proof it were needed that you can take the boy out of Glasgow but not Glasgow out of the boy!
Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:22:22 +0000
God Damn me almighty Lord!
That shit looks amazin’
Im wantin one now here in Philly USA
Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:59:51 +0000
I need that and a Newcastle NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:08:34 +0000
ps. Loyal readers, fancy giving it a Digg?
http://digg.com/food_drink/What_is_a_Munchy_Box_2
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 02:36:15 +0000
Tarnation! I’m a-wantin’ me one a them things, too! Can’t believe the US has fallen so far behind in junk food technology.
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 04:00:33 +0000
Egad! I thought the battered and deep fried Mars Bar took the cake, but I am always pleased to be proved wrong.
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:27:30 +0000
My brain says no my belly says goooo…!!!!
Looks like just the thing for a Saturday morning hangover.
They should put some buffalo wings in that thing just to get another continent into the box.
This is just one of the reason why I don’t miss living in the UK.
/Trev (Stockholm)
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:47:09 +0000
If you want one in the USA, look no further than the Garbage Plate, made famous by Nick Tahou’s in Rochester, NY
http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/GarbagePlate.htm
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:58:31 +0000
Looks like a delightful & pleasing pallett endeavor.But that salad does looks old & wilted.
What kind of ale is good to drink with it?
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 23:37:24 +0000
Well it’s called a “munchy box”
did you try this in the right state of mind?
I couldn’t try this without some legit chronic
Thu, 12 Jun 2008 02:23:02 +0000
Oh, to be 21 again, and with my cast-iron stomach.
So what is the “crappy salad”? Is it just a regular salad?
And what’s it doing there, being tortured?
Thu, 12 Jun 2008 02:26:21 +0000
Deep fried Snickers, deep fried pizza AND a Munch(y) box! My god what those Scots won’t think up next!!! We are so moving to Scotland!
Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:01:00 +0000
I think Warden McKief just shat herself!
Thu, 12 Jun 2008 11:03:34 +0000
Dear GOD it’s the ugly offspring of a bain marie and an epileptic fit!
Oh bravo on the rose, nice touch.
Thu, 12 Jun 2008 14:08:44 +0000
ah kids, thats just the tip of the iceberg,,….last night i had a chicken balti pizza……….great if you cant make your mind up……although i did fancy a chicken sweet and sour pizza……..but this weekend after some oat soda shandys and grey breezers i will be induging in the glory that is (for those in the know) the king of street meat.
A SAR BENI..!!!!!!!!!!!..ALL HAIL THE SAR BENI..
Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:00:25 +0000
Terrifying creation you’ve got there!
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:19:57 +0000
Another classic munch after a night on the lash, is a “scoobie snack”.
its a burger with cheese, onion rings, bacon, fried egg, tattie scone, and a little bit of salad. all for about £2.50!!!!!!!
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 16:41:44 +0000
Me no rikey da muncho box.
Me rike pizza clunch!
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 16:42:42 +0000
I’ll be havin one of those bad boys tonighty… along with a battered pizza
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:01:57 +0000
Welcome b3ta readers. Tuck in!
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:12:24 +0000
Man – I thought it was going to be a kebab pizza supper… (which I am now duly jonesin’ for)… that looks awesome.
I’m an expat in Canada, and preggers, and having monster cravings for a pizza supper, spring roll supper – and now I want this!!!
Chips. Proper chips.
How I miss ‘em.
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:12:34 +0000
Indeed the Munchy box is a wonderful thing. I have seen them offered on Glasgows south side with a small pizza replacing the donner meat to give it that continental touch.
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:22:40 +0000
you could feed a whole african country with a couple of these
=)
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:40:11 +0000
the cullinary delights of a sarbeni really must be tested. I’d recommend the ever-amazing Best Kebab next to Queen Street Station
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:04:58 +0000
You will find that the Munchy box is not only available in Glasgow!
I live in Glasgow these days but my brother pointed out to me that the same thing is available from certain chippies in my home town of Stafford, in the West Midlands of England.
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:05:31 +0000
Anyone ever tried a Sar Beni? I believe they have them in Glasgow but I tried one in Wales once… like a massive doner kebab only using an oval shaped 10 inch long pizza base instead of pitta or naan bread.
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:20:29 +0000
Fandabydozy! this is the biz. Nea messin aboot. it makes majic projectile vomit. I did a van gough wae mine last night aw over ma maw’s elivs 45′s. pebble dashed all the bog too. ya bramer. git wan or git chibbed. Ya bass.
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:21:47 +0000
As a Glasgow escapee, this makes my heart leap. In fear.
Do they still make the stoner kebab? If memory serves it’s a battered sausage wrapped in kebab meat, then battered again and deep fried.
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:36:52 +0000
Im afraid to report that the “stoner Kabab” is a reality and just as described…… Ohhhh my aching arteries….
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:50:03 +0000
the best munchy box in glasgow bar none is from lassani’s in m. florida, kwality scran – a heart attack in a box – lovely!
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 19:06:45 +0000
my local kebab shop does their munchy boxes with donner meat, mushroom pakora, vegetable pakora, chicken wings, spicey chicken and they put cheese over the chips… and they remove the rubbish salad to make room for even more meat! its like this munchy box but with more chance of heart failure
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 19:12:45 +0000
I’ve just had a revelation, I know how to improve this. Imagine how amazing it would be deep fried.
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 19:48:37 +0000
I am weeping anew for the starving children of the world. One half of the world takes in more calories than any human should consume in a week. the others, many of them children sit quietly in the dirt fields…. their eyes covered in black blowflies waiting for the hand of death to grip their shoulders. Anyone who would undertake eating such a ‘pile’ of heart attack promoting food should first make a donation to the starving children in every nation.
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:11:17 +0000
Hehheh.
I was about to post about the “Staunner.”
It’s not named after weed-smokers, BTW… The reference is a bit more anatomical than that
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:57:46 +0000
now we’re talking, if I send you a postal order for 5.22 can you stick a stamp on the box and bung it in the post to me?
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:59:03 +0000
stuff it, post it to africa – there’ll be plenty left over for me
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 21:55:05 +0000
This is just glorious. The only thing it needs to make it perfect is…….., well, a pizza, I guess.
Fri, 13 Jun 2008 22:35:43 +0000
I just saw one of these, on the pavement – ready to go.
Also, a couple of years ago, my mate and I went into a place that does these and got a ully loaded kebab pizza. When we were paying for it, the guy behind the counter said, “anything else”, and my mate shot back with “aye, an ambulance”.
Oh, the banter.
Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:53:11 +0000
Wow Jared… I’m stunned, this is 100% pure win and awesomeness rolled into one massive multiple meal that potentially could last for days. I will be undertaking a pilgrimage to Glasgow to track down the legendary Munchy box, you never know it may be necessary to try one from more than one of these discerning fast-food outlets. Take a bow Jared for introducing this to the world. Now we know why Glasgow was chosen as European City Of Culture 1990
Oh and “Steven” (June 13th, 2008 at 7:48 pm) I just hope your comment was so tongue in cheek that you couldn’t fit any more doner meat in there, otherwise you can take your bleeding heart starving children shite elsewhere.
Sat, 14 Jun 2008 09:02:13 +0000
that looks bloody lush, don’t think i could dust that on my own in one sitting though
Sat, 14 Jun 2008 11:09:22 +0000
Good skills! Using the weight-watchers online calorie counter I calculate that to be a gut-busting 2037 calorie dinner. It contains 0 portions of fruit and veg and an artery jamming 104.6 of fat – mostly saturated. Taken with 0 litres of water and an optional extra four cans of tennents super (1462 calories) you need look no further for all your daily energy.
Sat, 14 Jun 2008 19:20:37 +0000
A multi carry-out place in Whitecraigs (near Edinburgh) used to deep fat fry the kebab meat pizza if you asked, they folded it in half and battered it to stop the fixings falling out of course.
Sat, 14 Jun 2008 20:04:41 +0000
From the pages of a well-known music magazine many years ago:
I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BATTERED!
Ten Great Traditional Scottish Foodstuffs
1 Bridie
Colloquial term for apparently sat-upon “Cornish” pasty. Chief constituents: mince, onions, gristle – not unknown for Scots butcher to be seen scraping pig’s head for extra yummy meat filling. Flat, postable pies bought from bakers and considered part of staple diet for hardy working class braveheart who has no idea what ‘Bridie’ is short for either.
2 Lorne sausage
Land hardly ever frequented by Billy Connolly has its own brand of black pudding: on average a two-footer, which is sold in sliced-up form, its leathery skin hiding “pinky” oatmeal-dominated, meat-offcut innard. Serving suggestion: take crunchy cross-section, fry-up in arse fat, bang on bread roll, eat, wonder if mysterious Lorne family ever do this. (PS. Sausage rumour abounds that, if left in darkened cupboard for three days, pubic hair grows on it)
3 Deep-fried Mars bar
Cruel, borderline-xenophobic campaign of gastronomic hatred against Hue & Cry-loving nation, begun in earnest this year when many English-based broadsheets ran frankly true story about Paisley chip shop whose house speciality is battered choc bar, lobbed, some say inappropriately, into boiling fat. Topic, Kit Kat, Yorkie all proved hot favourites. Emergency cardio-vascular surgeons recruited from around globe…(See also: deep-fried pizza, “invented” after particularly exciting Rangers match in Dundee. Note: deep-fried pizza in batter unless chippy proprietor prefers hospital food, ie wants fight)
4 Pie on a roll
Self-explanatory presentation of Scotch Pie involving non-fucking-granary bap and high-in-poly-fucking-unsaturates-pal “spread”.
5 Stovies
Take some potatoes. Cook “tae fuck” (© Anton Mosimann). Mash. Take onions. Annihilate (until brown, slimy and ropey). Add to mash. Add corned beef (if Cullen’s are “out” of less authentic meat purée). Call ‘stovie’, because it was cooked on stove (unlike all other Caledonian comestibles, which are prepared in vegetable steamer with drizzle of Spanish extra virgin olive oil, I DON’T THINK)
6 Haggis
Much-lampooned in Beano, original bag o’ shite (ie sheep’s belly-sack/oatmeal/offal combo) is, in actual fact, sought-after delicacy enjoyed world over by connoisseurs of manky evil in a dead balloon.
7 Macaroni Cheese Pie
Who said north of border was no-go area for our vegetarian brethren? In fact, “poncified” Newton Mearns district of Glasgow is sloppy-pasta-curd-on-croûte capital of Scotland. NB: delicious deep-fried with meat.
8 Tunnock’s Tea Cake
Glasgow-manufactured confection in garish, custard-yellow box with cellophane “window”, unchanged in gooey white interior or individual foil-encased exterior since Harry Lauder’s youth. Frankly loaded Tunnock family seemingly undaunted by fact that Tea Cake is not real tea cake, but choccy marshmallow. NB: delicious dunked in McEwans Export. (See also: Tunnock’s Caramel Wafer: hazard to denture-wearing fraternity, but is, at least, actually caramel wafer)
9 Shortbread
Come New Year – or Hogmanay (© English TV executives) – Celtic homes virtually paved with pale, over-dry, pre-scored biscuit out of significant tartan-design tin with deer on. Traditional recipe contains extra salt (like, non-traditional version is way too moist)
10 Smoked salmon
Only found in supermarkets in South East England. NB: delicious with squeeze of lemon, sprinkle of fresh dill, and tiny triangles of brown toast after scag binge.
Sat, 14 Jun 2008 20:38:41 +0000
Good Lord!!! Do they deliver to the Costa Blanca… it’s too healthy here, and we have to keep swimming in the pool to keep cool, so that doesn’t help to keep the fat on, and I’m trying soooo haaard!! may one of these will help.
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 01:06:47 +0000
You have just brought back some student memories and my arteries are not thanking you. I used to get these from a takeaway in Salford near the Castle Irwell student village. My digs were a dive so it was only right to consume food as filthy, if not filthier, than my surroundings. Tasty good, but not as good as the North East delicacy that is the mighty Parmo.
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 01:18:24 +0000
That is the most truly disgusting picture of food that I have ever had the misfortune to witness in my entire life.
Yuuuuuck!!!
)
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 02:09:53 +0000
Excellent. I’ll have two, please. One to eat and one to put on a pedestal and worship.
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 07:35:46 +0000
Dang. Do they do deep-fried Irn Bru in Scotland? It seems like the next logical step.
Also: anyone from the UK who claims that American food is way too fattening hasn’t a leg to stand on. There’s so much cholesterol in that thing that it can raise people’s blood pressure as far away as Jersey.
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 10:13:21 +0000
God it makes me proud to be a weegie*
Multiple Munchy boxes are the way forward when you have a flat full of hungry stoners. Other local gastronomic delights are the Sar Beni, the deep fried pizza and, of course, the unbelievable wonder of the Scooby Snack! (a burger with bacon, egg, black pudding, square sausage, links sausage and ketchup all in one roll! Deserving an article itself methinks)
And of course, this must only ever be consumed accompanied by an ice cold can of Irn Bru: The Diabetics nightmare. Phenomenal!
(*”glaswegian to any of you sassenach buggers”)
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 11:31:23 +0000
I found this scotland post interesting. I’m looking forward to what you post next.
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 14:15:06 +0000
you don’t get these in auld reekie!
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:59:04 +0000
coffee grinders <== I am a Spammer. Please forgive my fucktardedness.
Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:49:34 +0000
I think I could have a good go at finishing one of those – sober!!
Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:43:55 +0000
I am an English man and I remember the first time I went up ther to work and as is normal after a good scoop hit the first take away. I ordered a mince pie and chips and was horrified when he put the pie in the deep frier, I thought he must have F##cked up. Alas this was the norm as are MARS bars dipped in batter and deep fried. It is a wonder that the Scots aren,t all die of heart attackes with all the fat and grease they devour.
Mon, 16 Jun 2008 09:03:40 +0000
Scruptioso. Defo going there next holidays.
Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:39:48 +0000
As a scotsman in exile in Australia, I have been looking at the yummy proper chips, none of this crunchy shite. Big, soft, greasers that coat the roof of your mouth mmmmmm!!!!!!
Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:55:20 +0000
hmmmmmmmmmm i want one, but do they do an organic version?
Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:35:47 +0000
Indeed, ambrosia hath been re-discovered!!!
However, the mind boggles at the price… one can only assume the “meat” content to be lower than whale sh!te, and all handling procedures brought in line with that most economical of food preparation policies: “Slap It In Fast As And If You Sneeze, Just Cover Any Evidence With Some ChilliSauce” (from the best selling authors of “Pitta Bread and other handy surface cleansers”)
As for the “Crappy Salad”, I’m curious… is this of vegetable origins? From your photos (and perchance a trick of the flash here methinks) it looks strikingly reminiscent of a cluster of large threadworms!
And so to the final salute: Congratulations on demolishing this beast of a dish and surviving long enough to complete your post. Pure Culinary Genius.
Good Luck with the arteries
Stellios.
Mon, 16 Jun 2008 17:56:31 +0000
Eat up fat asses.
Mon, 16 Jun 2008 21:24:05 +0000
Yes, it looks immense! I’m printing out the pictures now as we speak so I can take it down my local to see if they can copy it! I’m starving!
Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:14:45 +0000
No wonder the nations health is going down the pan. Can’t believe so many people actually found this a good thing. Looks like something you have trodden in!!!! to all those who want to try it happy heart attack.
Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:34:25 +0000
*cue tons of insecure blokes wanting to be blokes by cooing over something so vile but ‘manly’*
That meal is a picture of why Scottish people die younger than any other Brit. Possibly also why all Scots are mad.
Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:12:22 +0000
Had an almost identical “munch box” in Kincardine last week, at a take away out the back of Garvies bar. proof that the munch box concept is breaking free from the weegie zone and spreading East.
I finished it, but felt rather sick afterwards.
Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:42:36 +0000
Wow this thing is immense… perfect after pissup food, although you may as well save time and stomach acid by spending the five quid, then flushing it straight down the toilet, just to save you the bother of doing it later!
Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:32:10 +0000
Its great to hear some people mentioning the Sarbeni. I have only just recently started eating these magical things, even if I am all the way over at the the top of Sauchiehall Street I will still stagger the whole way down the road to get a Donner Sarbeni from Best Kebab.
All hail the Sarbeni and also big shout out for the munchy box !!
Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:43:21 +0000
Nice website!!
Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:02:49 +0000
Belter!
Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:11:04 +0000
This is not meant to cause too much alarm, but the “munchie box” has been available as far east as Livingston for several years now so the ” ex pat ” ‘Soap Dodgers”…( Glaswegians ) In Edinburgh could even have one trucked in!!!
Thu, 19 Jun 2008 02:03:45 +0000
I’m hungry now
Thu, 19 Jun 2008 02:40:18 +0000
NOM NOM NOM
Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:41:24 +0000
“Several meals in one”????
Are you a little girl? Thats a starter where I come from.
Thu, 19 Jun 2008 18:12:25 +0000
go back to england then.
Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:53:54 +0000
well, you know, I know an Oz based Scot and he tells me he misses this like crazy, can someone send him one please!!!
Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:29:38 +0000
Extraordinary…. I see the ‘degustation’ concept has leapt to an unheard of level in Glaswegia. And it saves washing up five courses-worth of dishes and cutlery. It makes me proud of my distaff Scottish heritage! Whoever said “you canna can a canny cant” was 100 per cent co-wrecked. TC, Melbourne, Austrralia
Fri, 20 Jun 2008 02:52:29 +0000
That’s not a “munchy box” its a “nose bag!”
Fri, 20 Jun 2008 09:35:17 +0000
A favourite. Me and my pal usually do a 16 inch between us. It has been a long process training up from a 12 inch box. Its not pretty but we get the job done, generally suffering from a few bouts of what we have diagnosed as “chest death” in the process. We put our own twist on it by grating a block of cheddar and dumping that in the box as well. Magic.
I’ll never forget the first one I had. Unsure of the portion size me and my friend also purchased a portion of chicken pakora and a burger meal deal. I have never felt so stupid.
When we are feeling particularly hungry we will stop by the chippy on the way home for a bag of real chips with it. If you really want to give a good account of yourself it helps if you skip dinner.
I’ve not had a sarbeni for a while. Other favourite include haggis or sausage suppers, hoggies (donner chips and cheese wrapped in a chapati with donner sauce), and king kebabs (every type of meat in the place piled on top of a nan bread, gave me the worst food poisoning ever once, so I don’t really eat them that much anymore). Other than that any pizza meal deal on the go, where the pizza follows the usual 3 layer format of base, with cheese in the middle and a good half inch of fat sitting on top.
I must admit I have never been brave enough to try a macaroni pie, however, I have however had a chicken curry pie which is pleasantly revolting.
Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:51:42 +0000
Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.
Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:39:15 +0000
When I wake up in the morning on the couch surrounded by the eminating odour of last nights donner meat and all I can see is a lrge pizza box staring me in the face it means that I’ve genrally got so drunk that I’ve lost all reasoning and actually purchased one of these.
This is a rare occurance but is a stain upon my soul.
Where I come from there is a symptom of munchybox-itis known as the “munchy box belly” (not to be confused with the ‘bacardi breezer belly’). Where young girls develop these strange fat guts which are impossible to replicate through any mneans other than constant consumption of the fat combination available only in 12″ munchy boxes – the rate at which ‘munchy box belly’ develops does appear to be inversely realted to the distance from which the munchybox-itis sufferer lives in relation to the nearest munchy box stockists. Placing you at higest risk when you are only equi-’delivery’-distance from more than two munchy box distributors and live further than one mile away from both. This places you inside the ‘cheap’ delivery area and are not close enough to smell the rancid stench of rotting munchy boxes generally found within scottish town centers.
Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:04:04 +0000
Yum! Just what the Doctor ordered.
Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:55:28 +0000
Glasgow’s form of ethnic cleansing
Sat, 21 Jun 2008 13:56:00 +0000
As a Scotsman living in England, it gives me great pleasure to inform you all that I’ve found a shop that sells such culinary delights a mere 5-minute walk from my front door.
Except for the pakora: apparently it fecks up his fryer. Gar.
Sun, 22 Jun 2008 08:55:37 +0000
Anyone care to name some of the fine establishments who sell this culinary masterpiece or similar, ideally with town / street names so the poor fuckers who aren’t Jocks can give this a try?
Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:57:17 +0000
The best Muchy Box is from Chili Waves in South Queensferry and costs £5.95.
Mon, 23 Jun 2008 06:25:25 +0000
Sure there must be a Munchy Box war about to abrupt in Bellshill..
Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:15:15 +0000
Heaven in a box right there and it’s the Scots we have to thank!
Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:32:31 +0000
One of my favourite quotes from Alan Partridge is : “It’s called cholestrol. Scottish people eat it.” A munchy box in Glasgow, as my wife has just told me, means different things in different parts of Glasgow. Some do pizza instead of the Doner meat but the concept is the same. It’s for neds n arseholes whose diet consists of Pot Noodles and Mars Bars.
I have to object to the insinuation that the bad diet kick is only a Scottish problem. I work in England a lot and some of the food you can get down there is awful. In fact, get this, deep fried Mars Bars – the first place I ever saw them on sale was in York! Guy who ran the place was Scottish right enough but it’s not Scots he’s selling to, is it?
GERTCHA!
Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:32:13 +0000
so much food, so little money …
Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:41:34 +0000
Always nice to see an Englishman (another country known for great Culinary tradition) comment on Scottish “fine cuisine”. To me this does not look any different in presentation and/or nutritional value than any other overcooked pub lunch you get in England!
Thu, 26 Jun 2008 11:01:02 +0000
Nice to see a local “delicacy” on the net, the munchy box is the king of meals after a night on the “sauce” its pretty good stuff, true probably about as unhealthy as you can get, but its worth it!! ( i think i’ll be calling flames and getting me one of these later on)
(it was obvious you werent scottish from readin the article, only people who arent scottish thinks we drink tennants, its bath water!!)
Sat, 28 Jun 2008 09:48:18 +0000
“To me this does not look any different in presentation and/or nutritional value than any other overcooked pub lunch you get in England!”
I can second that with certainty!!!
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 07:07:03 +0000
Wish I was still living in Stonehouse
I would have washed that lovely nosh down with a bottle of Buckfast
Thu, 03 Jul 2008 22:55:14 +0000
I am sure you miss a good old fashioned ‘grec frites’
Sun, 06 Jul 2008 09:10:48 +0000
Well, a mate of mine in Dubai mailed me a link to this, so you would have appeared to have gone global with this little piece of traditional Scottish cuisine!
Here’s to the new national dish!
Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:10:42 +0000
Fuck me, it’s looks like my wifes cunt..!!!
Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:13:41 +0000
rofl
Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:42:29 +0000
I remember having the dubious honour of trying to eat one of these last year, whilst visiting my sister. I recall eating rather a lot of it, but appearing to make no impact on the size of the food mountain in front of me.
I wonder just how many days it took off my life?
Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:13:56 +0000
Looks awesome and reminds me of the time I lived near Edinburgh – I remember well my first ever deep fried pizza (with salt ‘n’ soss) – terrific!
Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:43:20 +0000
Hmmm thats makes me hungry. A++ on presentation.
Sat, 09 Aug 2008 03:48:35 +0000
That is the most glorious thing I have ever seen. My life has changed now i’ve seen the munchy box. How I got here I’ll never know , I was only searching google for “deep fried opal fruits”
Sat, 06 Sep 2008 07:44:23 +0000
Agg god, a munchie box.
the most delicious delecacy this side of port glasgow
Mon, 22 Sep 2008 10:17:19 +0000
I’ve just had breakfast, but it’s making me hungry again. It must be the /4 Scottish in me!!
Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:41:55 +0000
We just need to get munchy-box-eating recognised as an Olympic sport. It’ll be Scotland vs USA I think in first two places, maybe Aus in bronze?
Tue, 23 Sep 2008 09:33:54 +0000
That’s awful, it looks like someone has thrown up in a box.
Tue, 30 Sep 2008 12:38:24 +0000
they are in demand:
http://www.inverclydenow.com/news-detail4.asp?ID=2077
Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:31:22 +0000
Far too healthy…Not a patch on the good ol’ scottish chinky!!
Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:32:55 +0000
Jared, ” Now fuck off out of my kitchen “….lol
ps, Would’nt be great if you could order one of these to your door……
Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:47:52 +0000
Several places round here do indeed deliver them to your door. However, as reported above in Inverclyde Now, delivery drivers may get mugged for them.
Tue, 14 Oct 2008 19:48:31 +0000
Lets just say, with Barr’s finest, this goes down a treat. AND keeps well for breakfast!
Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:56:39 +0000
I phone and order the great Munchy Box often,delivered to my door with a 2 litre bottle of Irn Bru.
Never finished one yet and there’s foru of us in here. takes great the next day ‘het up’
Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:00:04 +0000
This food is a dietary staple in Merseyside and my daughter’s favourite meal, despite which she maintains a Kate Moss-esque figure (How unfair). Can’t quite stomach it myself
)
Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:02:31 +0000
Amazing. We don’t get this delight on the South Coast but I can imagine it’s a taste explosion followed by a coronary. I also think that it looks like Bootay’s wife’s badger.
Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:18:34 +0000
Once in a while, but not often, we need coronary food …as well it sounds great especially if its named after me….the FOOD LOVER, and this one is good after a few Bodis or so
)
I am the Munch !
Wed, 05 Nov 2008 15:56:59 +0000
Emmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Nice. Now I am vegetarian if I wasn’t I would have gone through that no problem. After a night out that would be fantastic the greasy food delicious!!!
Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:00:16 +0000
Oh my god, this looks delicious, and as I am hungry at the moment you totally made my stomach sing
Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:12:21 +0000
just returned from a semester in Stirling, Scotland. the munch box was a weekly takeaway purchase for my flat. or just me…
Sat, 17 Jan 2009 10:18:19 +0000
It’s like a kebab meal-deal! I need to find somewhere in Huddersfield that does these…
Wed, 28 Jan 2009 14:55:08 +0000
Lols… sweet.
Sat, 07 Feb 2009 03:41:51 +0000
I live in Rochester, NY and we have something similar. We call it a Garbage Plate and I had never heard of them until I moved to Western NY. They are scrumptious, and usually just what you need after a long night out.
http://rocwiki.org/Garbage_Plates
yum! now i have to go get one….
Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:41:27 +0000
That would be simply delicious atop a gallon of bargain supermarket vodka.
Thu, 12 Feb 2009 17:04:14 +0000
As I said on Twitter you’ve put me in the mood for a munchy box but after reading the comments I’m wishing I could get a chicken donner sarbeni from Riginals just round from Central Station or whatever colour they’ve decided to call it these days.
Thu, 26 Feb 2009 08:00:55 +0000
NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mon, 02 Mar 2009 17:19:34 +0000
I’ve sent this to my husband and I imagine he’s looking for flights up that way right now – this looks totally up his street!
Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:59:50 +0000
Why???????
Sun, 15 Mar 2009 18:10:43 +0000
I’m moving to Scotland and that’s all there is to it, I don’t know why my ancestors left the place but after seeing this I wish they hadn’t.
Sun, 29 Mar 2009 13:55:07 +0000
I hope I can find something like this in Edinburgh next week.
Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:28:53 +0000
@Philippe
Mate you are delusional! This is a heart attack in a box I wouldn’t think a cheese ploughmans or a roast dinner would come anywhere near this in terms of junk value!
Sun, 17 May 2009 12:33:42 +0000
This is quite simply a work of genius and looks sensational.
Scotland leads where others are frightened to tread.
I have done the Calzone and chips with extra chillies in a box before before, but never anything as punishing as this. I’d imagine you feel like you’d done ten rounds with Tyson in the morning, but doubtlessly worth every hungover sick feeling moment.
I salute the commitment to Junk Food.
Mon, 18 May 2009 00:03:50 +0000
Dirty food mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!
Tue, 19 May 2009 08:16:33 +0000
That’s a lot of food there
Sat, 30 May 2009 18:54:35 +0000
I live just outside Edinburgh and you get a munch box here in a 12″ box. It has doner meat and chips, 2 chicken pakoras, 2 vegetable pakoras and a 10″ ”cheese and tamatty” pizza. All for the shockingly low price of £6.
Boo Yaa. Thats what I’m having for eats tonight.
Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:13:50 +0000
Wonderful wonderful fried delights! Alas, we have no such food here in the cultural barrens, however I would recommend a hoppy IPA to cut the palette.
Cheers!
Wed, 17 Jun 2009 08:42:28 +0000
Why did I ever leave Scotland? I hate my wife for making me move to the South of England, I’m so far away from home and miss the comforts of good old Proper Scottish portions of food!
Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:15:10 +0000
Not bad. Would still go for a turkish burger anyday.
Don’t ask me what’s in it, I haven’t got a clue other than burger, bacon, cheese and kebab meat. The rest is unknown!
Fri, 14 Aug 2009 07:00:59 +0000
I love donor meat on a pizza. I think they’re called London Pizzas. I live in the US an I’ve never seen one on the menu.
Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:37:37 +0000
That hilarious… your plate looks way more appetising that the cram of food in the box. Still makes make my wife water. Anyway, I have a British food site in USA. If anyone is interested and miss the home cooked delights.. check me ut at http://www.poppyspantry.com
Mon, 17 Aug 2009 21:48:50 +0000
I really need to move to Glasgow.
Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:22:38 +0000
Hardest. Arteries. Evah!
Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:25:25 +0000
If you must drink wine, you should at least make it tonic wine*.
* does not imply health-giving or medicinal properties.
Mon, 24 Aug 2009 23:56:34 +0000
I’ve had to admit defeat more than a couple times, I didn’t go quietly though, oh no, I made sure I was sufficiently ill before I gave up the bounty!!
Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:02:07 +0000
Surely the traditional drink to accompany this should be Buckfast.
Wed, 26 Aug 2009 09:50:27 +0000
What’s the problem, it covers the three main food groups!? Besides your looking at £6.00 plus in Polmont, so it’s a bargain. I note the two types of sauce; the salmon pink for the pakora and the deep red for the kebab – both are interchangeable.
Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:08:17 +0000
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.
Fri, 25 Sep 2009 16:23:16 +0000
Gross.
Very much like the generalisation that everyone above 54 degrees North in the UK eats that and other saturated fat and salt laden rubbish.
How many fried chicken chains are there in London?
Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:08:30 +0000
well they are ok in moderation but its another typical english twat slagging off scotland sure our diet is poor but thats the personal choice of the idividual the odd pizza or burger is ok as long as you dont over do it so enough of the stereotyping of scots, i think they eat just as much kebabs in england and there is an awful lot more inbred thugs in the inner cities down there.
Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:28:55 +0000
I think you misunderstood me. I like both Munchy Boxes and Scotland. Sorry if it came across as patronising, but you’ve got to admit the Munchy Box lends itself to a comedic appraisal.
Sun, 18 Oct 2009 09:49:47 +0000
@F
what on this good earth are you talking about? the MB is a cultural revolution – certainly no worse than many common foodstuffs…..
Sun, 25 Oct 2009 08:31:24 +0000
I think this looks awesome, i mean seriously awesome.. Scots sure know how to eat.
Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:12:29 +0000
You have totally missed the significance of the munch box> it shows how thoroughly cosmopolitain modern Scotland is and how culturally and culinarily enriched we are by our multi/cultural society.
You see how sophisticated we are with influences you mention from Italy,, Turkey, India and not a haggis in sight.
Sat, 14 Nov 2009 11:31:27 +0000
WAAAAANNNNNTTTT!!
Oh my god that looks so good…
Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:39:29 +0000
You know, I have to admit that for £4.95, that would be a fine dinner to split up between three or four people. I’m a bit jealous that we don’t have anything like that over here (the US, West Coast).
Thu, 03 Dec 2009 11:20:12 +0000
Typical Heathen,
Doesn’t iron his tablecloth, eats with just a fork and sets in on the wrong side… bleedin ‘west coast’ style. What is the world coming to? Setting for one (sad b’dard?). Billy no mates? Looks great and be even better, cold for breakfast. How far do they deliver?
Thu, 03 Dec 2009 15:55:53 +0000
I live in Glasgow and have never heard of the Munchie Box. But then I’m part of the literati, rather than the nederati. I once had something like that in a Serbian restaurant. It was called “the village plate” and it had all that, plus rice, pasta, sausages and fried eggs. And yes, it was “for one”.
Mon, 01 Feb 2010 03:21:50 +0000
Ah, that hardens the arteries with the thought of home! I come from Coatbridge, just outside Glasgow – heart attack capital of the world – for those not in the know, and most of the delicacies contained in that box are a regular staple of the ned/pisshead diet. I must admit though, I have not seen such bounty contained in one box – God works in mysterious ways.
Tue, 02 Feb 2010 06:10:01 +0000
I love the Haute Cuisine presentation in the last picture. The ‘gesture au juice’ are perfect!
Looks like you could remake a single 10″ Munch box into half a dozen nouveau entres and turn a tidy profit at twenty pounds a crack (not including gratuity for discourteous service).
Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:47:55 +0000
shouldn’t the sauces have been styled into a comma on the plate, followed by a series of dots¿?¿? …such shoddy presentation
Tue, 09 Mar 2010 01:06:28 +0000
You sound really arsey. Being English and living in Scotland does not entitle you to take the piss out of us.
Sat, 01 May 2010 22:23:51 +0000
have to say i do love a good munchie box sometimes about 3 in a week i never knew it was just a scottish thing
Wed, 05 May 2010 04:53:28 +0000
brillliant, any idea where to find these in edinburgh?
Sun, 16 May 2010 10:22:11 +0000
RT @ObtuseMusings: Veg and meat all prepped. All i have to do now is turn it on when i can be arsed.>>fuck that http://bit.ly/2OgjFB
Tue, 18 May 2010 21:20:16 +0000
@xhupf surely you want a Munchy Box? http://bit.ly/2OgjFB
Thu, 20 May 2010 13:00:31 +0000
@amateursuman this – among other things http://bit.ly/2OgjFB
Thu, 20 May 2010 13:08:21 +0000
Apparently, the "Munchy Box"… http://bit.ly/2OgjFB (thanks, @MSNMoneyJames)
Sun, 23 May 2010 10:14:31 +0000
Photo: Oh Glasgow… http://blog.23x.net/5/what-is-a-munchy-box.html http://tumblr.com/x9cabvsif
Mon, 07 Jun 2010 18:19:01 +0000
My uncle Dave and I once murdered one of these bad-boys: http://tinyurl.com/5qdv9o
Mon, 07 Jun 2010 18:35:50 +0000
RT @hoodedhawks: My uncle Dave and I once murdered one of these bad-boys: http://tinyurl.com/5qdv9o
Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:53:46 +0000
it’s umm, yeah lol
Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:58:42 +0000
IT LOOKS LKE MY GRANDMOTHERS SHTE SPOGED ONTO A PLATE!! ABSALOTY DISGUSTING!!!! SUM1 CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE!!! MY GRANDMOTHER IS SHITING ALL OVER ME!!!
Fri, 02 Jul 2010 23:43:37 +0000
Ha ha. YES. Give me one of themmm.
But, actually, it is correct to say that Scottish people only eat this because they are so depressed to be part of the United Kingdom.
Pass the Fauldhouse fromage frais (aka PIES AND LARD).
Thu, 08 Jul 2010 12:33:35 +0000
@dylanegan Reminds me of this Scottish delicacy: http://bit.ly/l0ys6
Fri, 09 Jul 2010 18:44:49 +0000
some recycled goodness from 6/08…when we thought this was a "temporary downturn" http://is.gd/dlRna
Sat, 10 Jul 2010 11:08:21 +0000
@Blair_Bookshop I'm above commenting on the Mars. I'd be more apt to comment on this: http://blog.23x.net/5/what-is-a-munchy-box.html
Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:14:01 +0000
moaty,moaty it’s me gazza, put the gun down moaty and lets have a munchy box.
Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:48:49 +0000
what a lovely tablecloth!